Finding Home
by ForeverH0pe
Summary: The plan was in motion, Alex was all set to become Nikita's eyes inside Division, but even after all the preparation Nikita couldnt help but feel that something was missing - something important. Nikita gives Alex something she can carry with her at all times, even through Division walls - she gives her a family, and new hope. Set before and during Alex's infiltration of Division.
1. An Unexpected Surprise

**So this fanfiction is actually a request from a friend – _tibetan mastiff_. **

**I know that starting off this story along side my other, False Pretences is going to require quite some work but the idea really caught my eye and I think the plot line is completely worth pursuing. Don't worry, I'm going to leave plenty of time to do both and have also updated my profile so that you can check out when my new chapters are due. **

**It's really down to the support from all you lovely people that I'm posting this as so many of you have praised my writing and I thank you for that. Its always lovely to know that people are enjoying what I'm writing. So again as English is not my native language, I do apologise if you find any mistakes in this piece.  
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**This is going to be a multi-chapter fanfiction, set just before and during Alex's infiltration of Division. It is, as usual, a Nikita and Alex friendship centred piece. Your feedbak is always very much appreciated and I look forward to reading everyones comments.  
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**Without further ado, here is the first chapter of a brand new story – I hope you all enjoy. **

**Alex. **

**XX  
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_Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Nikita characters, they belong solely to their respective creators and I just borrow them for your enjoyment and my writing addiction._

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**Finding Home - Chapter One  
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A faint aroma of coffee could be smelt across the wide open space of the loft, a gentle breeze blowing cold air across the bare concrete floor – aided perhaps by the window which had been left slightly ajar.

Below the open pane of glass, a small puddle was forming on the bare floor, brought about by the rain lashing violently against the window, the odd glimpse of lightning following it's relentless downpour. A summer storm had been blowing over most of the night and now that the early hours of the morning had come around, it had begun to slow a little, leaving a humid touch to the atmosphere.

For Nikita, the morning held a sort of strange realisation. She had been awake for a while now, unable to commit herself into steady slumber, she had placed herself in front of her computer screen trying her hardest to make head or tail of the plans before her. She placed her head in her hands gently and sighed, running her hands through her long dark hair in a mixture of frustration and anxiety.

Tomorrow was the day that all their planning would finally pay off, if they had thought the situation through correctly, she would soon have a partner inside Division – eyes on the inside. It would make her situation considerably easier, she would have more access to Intel, mission briefs and a better insight to what Division was planning.

She was going to gain something of immense importance – but lose something just as important in the process.

It would feel strange not having her around, not having her so close.

Of course, the whole plan had been Alex's idea. She wanted to infiltrate Division walls just as much as Nikita herself, but unlike Nikita, she wouldn't be going in blind. Needless to say, the assassin still felt uncomfortable about the situation. How could she ever feel good about sending someone she cared about to work for the worlds most corrupt organisation? It definitely wasn't the life that she had planned for Alex.

It felt even worse that there was absolutely nothing that she could say to convince the young Russian otherwise. Everything was already set up and Nikita found herself looking over to where two creepy-looking masks hung at the bottom of her recruit bed. She thought back to yesterdays conversation, when she had asked Alex if she was ready – she had given the younger woman the choice between the two characters and Alex had nodded with reassurance that she would take the bunny mask. It left Nikita with the pig...

Even through the heat brushing against her skin, Nikita shivered, rubbing up and down her arms to try and shift the goosebumps that had raised along her forearms. She had gotten so used to having Alex here with her, keeping her company in this big empty building that she wasn't sure if she wanted things to change. Not that she had much of a choice.

Alex had begun to feel like family to her.

Sighing once more, she glanced down to where her strong black coffee rested on the computer desk next to her. She furrowed her brow as she picked up the cup, realising that she had been sitting here in thought long enough for the liquid inside to go cold.

"Do you want me to make you another one?"

Nikita flinched slightly at a voice from a few feet away, mentally kicking herself at letting the other girl's announcement catch her off-guard. She really did have a lot on her mind, it was unlike her to daydream.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to make you jump." Alex said quickly, pushing the covers off her hot body and swinging her legs out of her own make-shift bed. It was by no means comfortable but none the less, it was better than sleeping on the street. Besides, she had gotten used to roughing it around here. She felt Nikita's eyes upon her as she tried to brush her hair backwards with her hands so that it resembled some sort of order, giving it up quickly as a bad job. She stretched out, trying to shake the tiredness from her muscles.

"Don't worry, I was just going over the plans for tomorrow." Nikita replied, gesturing towards the computer screen where Alex could see several pop-up windows of floor plans. She knew that it was the pharmacy's layout – the building that would set all of their plans in motion. She had studied them enough to know where everything was, every door, exit and room that she needed to know about.

It seemed Nikita was still worried about what may or may not happen.

"You still flicking through those?" Alex walked quietly over to where Nikita was sitting, peering over her shoulder at what she had already seen.

"It's best to know what we are up against, you can never be too prepared..." Nikita whispered, immersing herself back into what the screen held. Alex frowned to herself, crossing her arms over her chest in frustration. It sounded unprofessional of her, but right now she wanted nothing more than to forget about tomorrow and enjoy her last day of freedom with her mentor. Days like these would be hard to come by when she was inside Division, if they ever came around again.

"You couldn't sleep either huh?" Nikita asked quietly and Alex shook her head. She was too wired to sleep right now, too many things weighed heavy on her mind.

She sighed to herself, carefully making her way over to the open window. Peering out, the light was just enough for her to see the street below, the early morning glow slowly beginning to creep upwards and also allow her to make out slight shapes along the pavement.

Physically she was ready for this, she had been training for many months now to make sure her body could withstand the gruelling routine that Division would put her through. Nikita had pushed her hard, trained her to be flawless. She had no worry about the skills that she had developed. She could hit a target with all kinds of weaponry, bring down a man in hand-to-hand combat and hack through most computer systems. She was armed with an escape route, a shell program that she could contact Nikita at any time over and the memories of what all this was for. It was for her past, to fight for what happened to her family.

Nikita had told her that she had something to live for – to fight for.

It was just her mind that was a little reluctant to obey her right now.

"Hey, what are you thinking?" Nikita's soft voice broke her thoughts. She shook her head, mentally telling herself to stop having doubts.

"Nothing, I'm just going over everything in my head. Like you said, it pays to be prepared." she said quickly, turning around to face the raven-haired assassin. She put on a small smile, leaning herself backwards against the wall.

"I know that look, what's troubling you? Really?" Nikita gently pushed, also stepping forwards to peer out of the window. The rain had ceased a little now that morning was setting in.

"Do you think I'm ready for this?" Alex whispered, dropping her gaze down to the floor. She knew what she had to do to get onto Division's radar. The weapons she would be pointing at the pharmacists would be loaded, ready for her to pull the trigger. She shivered, her fathers lifeless eyes flashing through her subconscious.

"Why wouldn't you be, we've been training for months?" Nikita asked, now wasn't the time for Alex to be having doubts. Once she was inside Division, there was nothing that she would be able to do to help, Alex would be completely on her own - That thought scared her more than anything.

"It's not just about what I've taught you Alex," Nikita said, walking a little closer to the other girl. "It's about thinking on your feet. Remember why you are doing this, let that drive you through training, through everything that Percy and Amanda can throw your way. It's not going to be easy but focus on your mission and you'll be fine."

Alex nodded, looking back into Nikita's hazel eyes. For the first time since all this began, she actually felt nervous.

"If you want to back out, I'll understand..." Nikita whispered, letting her hand rest lightly on the other girl's shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

Alex shook her head violently, they had planned too much to stop now.

"No, we cant give in, not now." she said quickly, whatever doubts she had, quitting wasn't the answer. Nikita believed in her and right now, that was enough.

"I wont let you down..." she whispered, placing her hand on top of Nikita's which was still resting on her shoulder. Nikita gave her a reassuring nod and carefully reached up to brush the younger girl's still messy hair back behind her ear. She let her hand linger for a brief moment on the Russian's cheek, electric blue eyes meeting hazel in a moment of shared reassurance.

"I know you wont Alex, I just want you to stay safe and please – be strong."

"I will." Alex nodded, fighting back the sudden emotion that flowed through her body. The look in Nikita's eyes as she spoke – was an unconditioned form of concern.

Reluctantly, Nikita removed her hand from the other girls shoulder, instantly missing the reassuring contact that it provided.

"Anyway – I'm glad your awake, I have something for you." Nikita changed the subject as she turned her back to walk away. Alex rolled her eyes. Nikita never was one to dwell on a subject for very long, especially when it lead to personal emotion. So instead of arguing and changing the subject back, Alex took the moment to leave her thoughts at that window and curiously followed the older woman across the room.

"What do you mean you have something for me?" Alex raised an eyebrow as Nikita doubled over to reach into the back of one of the only cupboards in the loft.

"You haven't forgotten what today is have you Alex?" Nikita asked, smirking as her hands closed around what she was looking for. Dragging a small package forwards carefully, she quickly closed the cupboard door again, leaving it in a more easily accessible place.

"Why would I need to know what today is?" Alex asked, craning round so that she could look curiously at what Nikita was hiding, the stress of the mission draining into wonder.

"Check the calendar Alex, I haven't forgotten your birthday, but it seems you have..." Nikita smiled brightly at the girl before her, waiting for realisation to set in. Alex never remembered when it was her birthday. Until she met Nikita, it was something that she had never really celebrated and after her parents were murdered, it had just become another day.

Nikita wanted her to remember this one – she had something special in store.

"Oh, your right it is..." Alex whispered, looking away from Nikita for a brief minute. She could have lived without knowing what today was, it was just going to add more things to her already full mind.

"Alex come on, it's the last day we've got here together and I want it to be a happy one." Nikita's voice sounded a little dejected, so Alex looked back up, seeing the pleading look in her mentors eyes.

"You know that I don't like a fuss – it's just another day." she argued, crossing her arms back across her chest.

"It's not every day that you turn nineteen right?" Nikita whispered, nodding towards the edge of her bed.

"Go on, sit down. I've got you a little something..." she smiled once more, encouraging Alex to listen. Alex sighed, before uncrossing her arms and raising her hands in mock defeat.

"Alright, alright I'll sit." she said sarcastically. What could Nikita possibly have got her that would make this day memorable? The day before she was thrown to the lions so to speak.

"This better not be some kind of horrible birthday cake that we could break down the door with." Alex said sarcastically, she had sampled Nikita's cooking before and it was safe to say that culinary skills weren't exactly her strong suit. She heard Nikita let out a snorting laugh behind her, feigning mock hurt.

"Cheeky!" she scorned, reaching back into the cupboard to pull out a small parcel. Alex watched her carefully, utterly confused.

"It's definitely not a cake, I can promise you that." Nikita stated, walking over to the bed and sitting herself next to her partner. Alex scooted sideways until she was almost facing the assassin. Nikita placed the mysterious little brown-paper parcel on her lap, looping her hands over the top of it. Alex noted that she gripped her own hands tightly, until her knuckles turned white. The look on her face shifted to one of nervousness, it was a rare sight – Nikita feeling nervous, but when she did it was fairly obvious.

"Now, I know it's not much Alex and I'm sorry, but I wanted to give you something that you could keep with you, even when your inside Division..." Nikita bit her bottom lip as she slipped the package out from underneath her hands and rested it carefully on the bed between them.

"What's in there, is going to be your choice. I understand if you don't want what I'm proposing – it would be a big change, for the both of us." Nikita nodded for Alex to pick up the parcel. Listening intently, the younger girl reached for a loose corner of the package, carefully peeling it away from the glue holding it down.

For some unknown reason, her stomach fluttered with butterflies, Nikita's nervousness becoming contagious. She didn't even know what there was to be nervous about.

Inside the parcel was an envelope, a white one with some kind of symbol stamped in blue-ink on it's left hand corner. She squinted at the logo, but it meant nothing to her, she couldn't recall seeing it anywhere before.

"It's a different kind of gift Alex, but like I said, I want you to remember this birthday – for all the right reasons." Nikita rested her hand lightly on Alex's knee for encouragement. She didn't know how Alex would react to this, all she knew was that she desperately wanted the outcome to be a positive one – if Alex was ready for this.

"Go on – Open it."


	2. Mears Don't Quit

**Hey guys :) **

**Well, my apologies, I was planning on having this up at the same time as False Pretence's new chapter but it took a little more writing than I had planned. Even though it's short and I'm not completely happy with it I'm posting it for you to read with a critical eye. **

**As usual, any feedback will be appreciated. Remember, this was _tibetan mastiff's _idea, not mine. I'm just doing the writing! **

**On with the story, enjoy. **

**xx**

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"Go on Alex, open it." Nikita encouraged, the girl before her cautiously picking the envelope's seal and lifting one corner. Alex raised an eyebrow, clamping her teeth down on one side of her lip nervously. She felt like what was in there was some kind of hidden secret and she was sneaking around with something she wasn't supposed to know. Yet a quick reassuring nod from her mentor and she took a deep breath, pulling out the small stapled-together booklet of paper that was inside.

Before she could even get the chance to skim the words with her page, she instantly knew that it was official.

Nikita felt herself hold her breath too as Alex's baby blues skimmed down the page. She plaited together her fingers, busying herself for the few seconds that seemed like hours until the young Russian's eyes widened at what she was reading.

"Look, I know this will be a lot for you to take in – and I don't expect to get an answer from you any time soon, if you give me an answer at all. Just please mull it over and let me know when your..."

"Yes." Alex whispered, her eyes raising from the paper slowly. A bemused, yet unreadable look on her face as she spoke. Nikita stopped her ramble abruptly, pausing to meet Alex's gaze.

"What?" she whispered, unbelieving. "Alex, I..."

"Yes, I don't need any time to think – just yes." Alex whispered, the hand holding the paper quivering slightly, the vibration in her limbs not going unknown to Nikita.

"Are you sure?" Nikita whispered. Now that the realisation had hit her, she didn't quite know what to say. She had been thinking about Alex's reaction for weeks, she had played the situation over in her mind like a tape on repeat. Now someone had paused the recording, and left it on a scene that she hadn't envisioned at all. She had never begun to expect Alex to agree. The younger girl had been through so much in her short life, Nikita had been worried that it would be too much for her to take in all at once, after all they hadn't actually known each other for that long.

Alex nodded and before she knew it, Nikita had scooted over to her and pulled her into an all-too-tight embrace. The younger girl returned it, perfectly comfortable in the security that Nikita's arms provided. It was amazing how one person could give you so much reassurance without the need for any words. However when she spoke, her words were just as comforting.

"When you are inside Division's walls, I won't be there if anything goes wrong. I wanted you to be able to go in there with the reassurance that I'm always here, even if I cant get to you – Alex you are family to me and I wanted it to be official." Nikita was reluctant to let go, the realisation that Alex had just accepted her offer of adoption only just creeping under her skin. She couldn't help but crack a small smile, squeezing the girl in her arms just a little bit tighter. Ever since Daniel had died, she had been reluctant to let anyone else in. She was so scared of getting close to people, just for them to be taken away again. Then Alex had walked into her life, or should she say, crashed into her life and everything had changed. She felt closer to the other girl, perhaps more than she ever had with her deceased fiancé. Now she couldn't imagine life without her here and couldn't think about what it would be like to not be close to her.

It was now obvious, from her reaction, that Alex felt the same way. Nikita ran her hand gently down the other girl's back as she took a deep breath to speak;

"Ever since my family were murdered, I feel like I've been walking in circles. I've been so focused on myself and what my past holds that when you offered me the chance to get revenge for their deaths, told me I had something to live for, I threw myself head-first into all of this training and prep work for Division." Alex paused for a second, closing her eyes.

"You offered me the chance at a second life, a chance to make things right. You've taught me so much, how to fight, computers, surveillance and weapons. You've taught me how to survive in a world where all the odds are stacked against me."

Alex pulled away from the hug, Nikita still keeping one hand on her shoulder and brushing her brunette locks back with the other. She smiled, seeing the priceless look of contentment on her mentor's face.

"Now you've given me so much more. I didn't realise it, all those months ago when you turned my life around – but you were offering me a new family. Nikita thank you." she whispered, clutching the adoption papers tightly in a shaking-hand.

Nikita nodded, no more words being needed. For once, she felt like she had hit a break through. Life with Alex hadn't been easy since she had cleaned her up and started her training. Often, she had felt like the girl before her was unreachable, like she was fighting her so hard every step of the way. She had been met with reluctance, defiance and constant hardship. Yet she had seen Alex grow, she had seen her change. From the moment her own heart had skipped a beat at finding Alex motionless on the floor, an empty bottle of pills loosely in her grasp, to the moment where Alex had bettered her in her first sparring match she had persevered – and it had all paid off.

Yet a dark cloud still hung over everything. Once Alex was inside Division, no one could possibly know about this. This would just be one more secret for her to try and hide, her relation to Nikita would be enough to get her killed – perhaps even more than if Percy found out that she was an Udinov.

"Udinov-Mears. It has kind of a ring to it." Alex whispered, her eyes scanning the little dotted line at the bottom of the page, right where her rather unruly signature should go.

"Alex, listen to me a second." Nikita said; removing her hand from Alex's shoulder, standing up and walking a few paces away, her brow furrowing and her arms crossing over her chest in a formal manner.

Alex looked up from the page, knowing what Nikita was about to explain. Even through a happy moment, Nikita was always thinking of the bigger picture. She new what Nikita was offering would come with responsibility and Nikita's main objective was to try and keep her safe.

"I realise, that this is somewhat selfish of me." she said quietly, so that Alex had to prop forwards on her chair to hear the full sentence.

"What I have given you Alex, might be a gift and it might get you through some tough days inside Division but it doesn't take away the fact that this is completely against what my judgement is telling me." she paced forwards a little more, before turning around to face the younger girl.

"I wanted you to be a part of my family so much that I've overlooked the bigger picture and you are going to have to be even more careful in there."

"Nikita, don't worry – I wouldn't let anyone know who I am, or, who I'm becoming. I know it would get us both killed..." Alex whispered, she didn't see this as a burden at all. This was already giving her strength.

"I know you don't Alex, but Amanda and Percy, they aren't like anyone you've met before. Percy's lies and Amanda's head games are enough to turn anyone's minds inside out. They will try and get close to you, try to build up some kind of trusting relationship with you that will have you questioning your own objectives..."

"But I wont listen to them, I know what you've taught me..." Alex cut in quickly.

"That's my point Alex, what they do, what they say – it's believable. I believed it, hell I even saw Amanda as some kind of ally, friend even. They twist your minds and play on your feelings until you aren't sure who you even are any more. If they were to find out that your not just working with me, but been adopted by me, they wont stop until they have used you to get to me. I wouldn't want that for anyone, but definitely not for you." Nikita whispered, the look she was giving Alex made the younger girl shiver.

"I just want you to be prepared for what they will try and do. Life inside Division is like some sick game of cat and mouse and you are never in-expendable, no matter how good an agent you prove to be; if indeed you ever make it to agent." she added, dreading to think about some of the alternatives Division could have lined up in store.

"I'm ready for this Nikita." Alex sighed, standing up and carefully placing the documents on the table in front of her, before walking up to the older assassin slowly.

"It's now or never right? You've taught me everything you can to help me get through this – you've done everything in your power. Now it's up to me." she said quietly. She felt strangely confident. Amazing really, to say that she was just a few days away from walking into some kind of hellish prison to which there would be no exit. Not until she made the grade as a field agent and even then, she knew what she would have to do to earn that title.

"I just want you to feel like you can do this. Like you are sure it's not just going to add more weight to your shoulders. That's why I wanted you to think about it first." Nikita sighed, not that she was disheartened by Alex's reaction.

"I don't need to think about it. I can go into Division with a clear head. I know that so much of this has to rest on my shoulders, you cant do anything out here without my inside Intel. It's going to make things easier, even if they feel so much harder. I can rest easy knowing I have you on the outside to come back to when all this is over. Its a goal that I can actually look forward to after all of this." Alex smiled, placing her own hand on Nikita's folded arms.

"I'm just as much a Mears now as an Udinov – and Mears don't quit do they?" she whispered, catching Nikita's gaze. She saw the corners of Nikita's lips turn at her words, the faintest hint of a smile, still hidden behind a mask of worry. Deep down, she knew Nikita trusted her to see things through, but she also knew how much the other woman would hate leaving all the responsibility on her. All Nikita wanted was to keep Alex safe. Now it was a mutual goal.

"No they don't." Nikita replied quietly, brushing her hand back through Alex's hair lightly. She was going to miss her being here, it would seem quiet around here when she was gone – and that for her life was an achievement. She had never known her life to be quiet.

"Now come on, it's still my birthday right?" Alex said, trying to raise the cheer a little with a cheeky tone to her voice. Nikita nodded, wiping at her eyes.

"So now you remember." she answered sarcastically. Alex flashed her a smile before turning her back to hunt for a pen – she wanted to make this official as soon as possible.

Nikita followed her slowly. They didn't have very much time left together and she wasn't sure of the next time they would actually see each other. All she knew was, she was going to use the little time wisely. Alex was right, it was her birthday – it should be special and there was much to celebrate.

Not even Division was going to ruin today.


End file.
